Leaving it all Behind

Ditching Social Media

You know the feeling of relief and calm that happens when you realize it’s time to move on? Maybe from a relationship or a job, even though the future is a mystery, you know you’re entirely finished - and ready for the change?

With social media - I’m there.

Sticking with Substack

I’d like to start this semi-rant with this: I love sharing with the people who want to listen, learn and share their own ideas and experiences. Writing long-form here on Substack feels like an act of rebellion against the usual platforms, and I look forward to continuing to share and learn here. The reason for this off-topic post is to create accountability in myself as I commit to the change, and hopefully, others will find it relatable and inspire positive change.

In the Beginning

When I moved to B.C. in 2017, I started my current Instagram and Facebook accounts to keep up with friends and family and share my little fishing adventures. I didn’t know 8 years later, I’d be some sort of micro-influencer.
Whatever that means.

Curt and I shared a joint Facebook account for things like marketplace, but I wanted one of my own. As soon as I’d added my name, a picture, and started adding my family, things got weird. A default setting allowed anyone to message me, and I started getting messages from people (men) I didn’t know. It was bad.

The Settings

Social media was a fairly user-friendly place to keep up with your social circle, but it’s veered. Now, it’s become overcomplicated with settings, games, ads, news and spammy junk. Did you know you can set specific favourite friends to see more of? Or turn off search engines linking your profile? There are so many settings, and they’re always changing.

Last week, when watching stories on Instagram, the heart button moved from the right to the left side of my phone. Just today, I opened it to find the icon for messaging friends has moved too. Though it’s a small change, it’s unnecessary and impossible to keep up with. It shouldn’t be a constant learning curve - we all have better things to do.

TMI - Too Much Information

Do you ever open your Facebook and just gaze blankly at the onslaught of different things to see, do, click, read, and watch? Where are my friends?!
It’s SO BUSY.
Currently, as I look at my main feed, there’s one friend’s post. The rest is links to other places and ads. Scrolling down, I’m shown more ads, sponsored posts, and groups I’m not in (all stuff I didn’t ask to see), then something from the same friend. I have 300 friends, but so far I’ve scrolled at least 4 busy pages of trash and seen one.

The Misogyny

I live in my own little world, one in which all people are made equal and capable of comparably equal things. That’s how I like to think the real world is. I spent a decade in the trades with the same attitude and only rarely felt like I was treated differently or in a sexist way. Social media, however, has this nagging way of trying to tell everyone we’re different and who we should be.

Not just social media algorithms, but other people online are constantly trying to tell me what I’m doing is wrong or that I should be doing something else. People are allowed their opinions, but when sharing my life and world, I’d hope for the same courtesy. Where it really gets uncomfortable for me is when people accuse me of being fake.
That I can’t possibly be doing the things I do, it gives me an insight into a type of ingrained cultural misogyny I’d prefer to be oblivious to.

Keyboard Warriors

Of course, there’s lots of great, kind feedback and people willing to learn, or at least keep their mouths shut when they see something they disagree with - but the repeated negativity on Facebook is a lot to take on a regular basis. Sharing my goals to be self-sufficient on there has led to an onslaught of negative feedback, and though I have a relatively thick skin, it’s input I don’t need and also scary.

‘Where are you? Are you alone?’

Beyond the fear of money or identity theft, people constantly ask where I am and if I’m alone. For them, it may be an innocent question, but being on the receiving end of it brings up some serious (and merited) feelings.

An Unsafe Space

Our mental guard goes up when signing on. Beyond trolls and haters, there’s the need to defend ourselves from hackers looking to steal our identities and our money. Recently, I messaged an old friend out of the blue. Their response was to block my profile and message Curt to ask if I’d been hacked.

Sitting in our homes, in our cozy safe reprieves from the busy world, while inviting the negativity, judgment, and threat of social media doesn’t make sense. If I told myself 20 years ago that signing onto the computer would bring that kind of defensiveness and anxiety, I would have thrown the computer out the window.

The Lost Plot

I wish social media were what it claims to be. In my opinion, it’s supremely lost the plot. Advertisers and money-making rule; keeping up with friends has become a challenge. Beyond that, AI is replacing real pictures, people, and experiences online, which makes me question the point further. The last thing I want to do is interact with a computer instead of my friends and family.

In my opinion, the positives have been supremely outweighed. The goal of social media has become keeping our attention for as long as possible, by any means necessary, and that’s pulling us out of our real worlds and our happiness. I’d much rather keep up with friends in person and spend my time believing I’m capable and safe in my own world.

I’m choosing a quieter life, one where my attention and safety belong to me. It’s time for me to break up with Social Media, and though I’ll miss sharing with people on there, I’ll still be here.